Heavy Heart Is the New Hatred


Butterflies from girl mouth art and photography in black and white

Credit: @fleuriyee


‪We don't hate deeply from our hearts, We deeply love from our hearts

But the way you loved me gave me reasons every day to hate you so much with every single small bit of my heart..
I gotta be honest about how chill I always thought myself to be and that I never knew what does hatred mean but not until I met you. You were like a detailed and customized model of what I should be exactly hating the most and you've got those sneaky provoking tips of an attitude to make it extra, I swear to Lord you were created to make me sense this feeling at least once in a lifetime via one awful person.

I never victimized myself being around you until the reasons why I hate you started to manifest over my mind and causing me some sour type of a headlock, I wasn't even expecting anything bad to happen as I was already adapting with the fact I always faked a laugh and the taunting face I gave you wasn't a joke.
The smallest things and actions could be considered as nothing and no matter how bad they are, they're still just small things that anyone wouldn't like.. but to me it was different, to me from you was completely different, everything you've done unintentionally felt extra foolish and pushy to me and I always asked myself to figure out what the hell is wrong with me? Or what on earth is fucking you up?Is it our signs? Or maybe our chemistry that never shared the same reactions?Is it our past lives got me knowing you so well and that was enough to make me disgusted by your face? Or maybe the clinginess is so powerful to separate two souls out of consuming?

I'll never find the solution for the dilemma, neither you because you've never felt anything but my existence which had you satisfied enough not to make you think about anything else, even if this thing was the hatred I have for you.